On the way back to our apartment we stopped at my parents' house and my mother told me that she was going to call and make an appointment for Dreams to be put down. I was very strong and brave and I didn't cry until I got home. And then my mother called me on Tuesday morning and told me that the appointment was for Thursday morning, so I told my teachers not to expect me for the rest of the week and I spent Tuesday night through Thursday afternoon at home with my baby. I was extremely strong and I just spent good quality time with him. I didn't want to think of it as spending his last day with him, I wanted it to be spending a Wednesday with him. And it was. It was good. I'm so glad that I was there.
I'm really sad of course, but I feel very much at peace with the decision so I'm doing all right, truly, which I think is surprising to a lot of people. I think that some people think that I'm deflecting or just in denial or something but I feel that it was really the right thing to do and he's out of pain and that's what's really important.