November 20th, 2009

[ Misc ] Intelligent Slut

(no subject)

Let me spin you a little yarn.

I was on campus yesterday. My class got out early so I was hoping to catch the 4:42 bus instead of waiting around until 5:12 with nothing to do and not enough to time to really do anything.

So I was speed walking and cutting across the lawn and I hit something. It was very disorienting. I was walking one moment and then the next I was on the ground and my face hurt like a mother fucker. I stood up. Which was hard because I had no balance or equilibrium for a moment.

Then I realized. I had run into a fucking tightrope. Let me tell you a little bit more about where I live. At this time of the year, where I live, 4:30 is dark. I realized I had run into a tightrope because I know that tightropes are often strung between trees on campus but it was dark and the tightrope was completely invisible.

I also then realized that if I missed the bus it would completely extra not worth running into the god damn, mother fucking tightrope. So I ran to the stop. And lo! I made the bus.

My first priority as soon as I was sitting on the bus was to touch my face. No blood. Good sign. Then I stuck my finger in my mouth. My jaw hurt and I feared for my teeth. Everything seemed to be in place. I pulled my shaking fingers out of my mouth and looked down at the digits, slick with saliva, once again relieved to find no blood.

My face and neck hurt. So much. I could already feel that my lip was swollen on that side. I'm not really one to cry over pain, I cry over frustration. Frustrated I was. I felt like an idiot. I felt so stupid. Who the fuck runs into tightropes? I know that it was invisible, I know that I wouldn't have seen it if I was running, jogging, powerwalking or shuffling. But I felt like a complete moron. A complete shlimazel!

Of course, when I got home my girlfriend was so very sweet and wonderful and loving and made me feel better. She cleaned the rope burn that extends from my lip and looks like a frown extension, like the reverse of the joker. I'm kind of the joker and I'm kind of two face. Which really kind of sucks because since my youth all I ever wanted to be was Catwoman.

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Also, and this is the really sad part, I had my laptop in my backpack... and I landed on him. The screen is destroyed, which you've probably already ascertained from the picture if you clicked the cut. The screen absolutely needs to be replaced but everything else seems more or less okay. I used the fn keys to turn the backlighting up and down and that worked. That's the only thing I can really check without being able to see the screen. The screensaver seems to work. Because when I opened it up and collapsed into a fit of hysterics I left it on long enough to go to the screen saver. So while the damage to the screen is obvious and awful, I think that's actually the extent of the damage. I have a warantee. Cross your fingers that this is covered.