Countess Von Fingerbang (madampresident) wrote,
Countess Von Fingerbang
madampresident


Devil Wears Prada
Brilliant, awesome and sweet fic ideas!

Ave Maria
Maria Castleton. Miranda was in a longterm commited relationship with the love of her life Maria Castleton. A wonderful, happy life cruelly cut short by the events of September 11, 2001. Five years later Miranda is still bitter and resentful and absolutely insufferable. AU Stephen is Maria's brother and instead of a divorce he tells Miranda that he can't stand to be around her anymore. That he was nice to her because Maria was so in love and he felt an obligation to help Miranda with her grief but for Christ's sake it's been 5 years and she's still just as big of a pain in the ass and huge bitch as she's ever been and he's not going to put up with the abuse anyore. Fuck her, fuck Miranda Priestly, she can die alone for all he fucking cares. Miranda also has to deal with her children hardly remembering their biological mother and also telling her that she needs to move on. Enter Andrea. She puts on a 9/11 pin and all hell breaks loose as Miranda flies into a rage. They get into the elevator to ride down to the car. Andy looks over at her and impulsively wraps her arms around her. Startled Miranda cries, "what are you doing?" Andy just holds her tighter, completely expecting the resistance, "today must be really hard for you, Miranda." She whisperes into her hair, "I'm really sorry." Miranda's lip quivers, and her eyes filled with tears and equally impulsively she kisses Andy. Instantly she wishes she could take it back, feeling that she's cheating Maria but Andy knows she's not going to let Miranda go that easily.
Berlin 1989
Miranda grabs the first plane she can to Germany in 1989 when the news comes that the berlin wall has fallen, desperate to meet her grandmother before she passes away. The news coming at the perfect time as her first marriage has just crumbled into bits and she needs to get away. "Guten Morgen, Oma. Ich bin Miriam, ich bin deine Enkelin." Magdelena Prüter looked up at Miranda with scrutiny, "you speak German like a Frenchman. Du bis meine Enkelin... wo sind meine groß - Enkelkinder?" Want to throw in a random love story. Femslash, naturally.
Meet the Princheks
The girls are desperate to meet the rest of Miranda's family, no one in their entire class is related to real Nazis! "My parents aren't Nazis!" Miranda sighed heavily, "my grandparents just got stuck on the wrong side of the Berlin wall. It's not the same thing..." Colorful cast of characters that Miranda can't believe she's related to. I'm thinking there need to be goats and Miranda has to fall in mud. Also a trip to Germany is in order, methinks.
Meet the Sachs
Sequel to Above. "I'm more nervous to introduce you to my grandmother than I was to meet your mother and she was a Nazi for Christ's sake!" Miranda scowled, "my mother was not a Nazi. My grandmother was a sympathizer..." -- Andy's parents begging Andy not to tell Grandma Sachs that she's dating a woman. The woman only has so much life left to live, why kill her with the news that her daughter is as flaming as a brushfire.
Post Partum Depression
Miranda is suffering from horrible PPD and she meets Francesca and she realizes that her depression isn't linked only to post partum issues but also to being deeply unhappy with her life and needing to change things in a big way.
Doubt Fic Joke 1
A 5th grader asked her mother the age-old question,

‘How did I get here?’

Her mother told her, ‘God sent you.’

‘Did God send you, too?’ asked the child

‘Yes, Dear,’ the mother replied.

‘What about Grandma and Grandpa?’ the child persisted.

‘He sent them also,’ the mother said.

‘Did he send their parents, too?’ asked the child.

‘Yes, Dear, He did,’ said the mother patiently.

‘So you’re telling me that there has been NO sex in this

Family for 200 years?

No wonder everyone’s so damn grouchy around here.’
Doubt Fic Joke 2
A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant

“Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don’t want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients”.

“Yes, sir!” answers Murphy.

The doctor goes fishing and returns the following day and asks: “So,Murphy, how was your day?”

Murphy told him that he took care of three patients. “The first one had a headache so he did, so I gave him Paracetamol.”

“Bravo Murphy lad, and the second one?” asks the doctor.

“The second one had indigestion and I gave him Gaviscon, so I did sir” says Murphy.

“Bravo, bravo! You’re good at this and what about the third one?” asks the doctor.

“Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door flies open and a young gorgeous woman bursts in so she does. Like a bolt outta the blue, she tears off her clothes, taking off everyting including her bra and her panties and lies down on the table, spreading her legs and shouts: ‘HELP ME for the love of St Patrick! For five years I have not seen any man!’”

“Tunderin’ lard Murphy, what did you do?” asks the doctor.

“I put drops in her eyes.”

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